Tag: funny
group name: katlnhats
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December 17, 2006 02:48 AM EST --
10. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes, that would've fit.
9. It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.
8. Perfect for wearing in the basement.
7. Well, . . .
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September 26, 2006 08:38 AM EDT --
Please excuse the rough language in the following story.
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well," . . .
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September 17, 2006 07:30 AM EDT --
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
___________________________
OFFICE ARITHMETIC . . .
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October 07, 2006 02:37 AM EDT --
This came from another web site. I think it is great.
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed
through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on
consumer goods:
On . . .
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October 13, 2006 10:19 PM EDT --
This came off the internet. I wish I had one when my daughter was dating.
NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, . . .
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September 17, 2006 07:24 AM EDT --
17. I Hate Every Bone in Her Body But Mine
16. It's Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass Out All Day Long
15. If I Can't Be Number One in Your Life, Then Number Two on You
14. If . . .
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November 06, 2009 12:56 PM EST --
Since Destiny is in that funny things toddler's say phase I've been documenting these phrases and comments she's made and plan to scrapbook them, make her a small book or something similar when I finally . . .
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September 17, 2006 06:48 AM EDT --
Harlow was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store. At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting . . .
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September 20, 2006 04:50 AM EDT --
A blonde enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains."
The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains. . . .
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September 24, 2006 04:44 AM EDT --
This happened just outside of Breaux Bridge, a little town in the bayou country of Louisiana, and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, believe me, it's real.
An out-of-state traveler, we'll . . .
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October 16, 2006 02:32 PM EDT --
This is not my original joke. It is not copyrighted.
Dear Bank Manager,
I am writing to thank you for bouncing the check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations . . .
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September 05, 2006 08:22 AM EDT --
"WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 AL QAEDA TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE AMERICAN"
This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Philadelphia . You are probably outraged . . .
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October 20, 2006 05:53 PM EDT --
D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for
up to 8 full hours.
ST. M O M M A'S W O R T
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by
rendering preschoolers
unconscious . . .
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December 14, 2006 03:02 PM EST --
I just thought this is something funny to share with my Gather friends. :-)
I don't like yogurt, but my doctor told me to eat them because of the nutritional value. So I started eating them since . . .
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September 25, 2006 07:01 AM EDT --
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week . . .
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December 08, 2006 09:09 PM EST --
This one came in an email. It is a little different from what I ususlly publish.
A crusty old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There . . .
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February 01, 2007 08:06 PM EST --
The back story on this had to do with speedos, tutus, and a road trip across the Atlantic to Hampsterdam. This all came about because I am not a purple dinosaur, a deputy, nor do I work in a rock quary. . . .
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November 21, 2006 12:31 PM EST --
Ingredients:
1 whole chicken or turkey
1 large lemon, cut into halves
sprig of rosemary
salt and pepper to taste
butter or olive oil, whichever you prefer
Heat oven to 350 degrees
. . .
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March 14, 2009 06:13 PM EDT --
In 1992, Frank Perkins of Los Angeles made an attempt on
the world flagpole-sitting record. Suffering from the flu
he came down eight hours short of the 400 day record, his
sponsor had gone bust, his . . .
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